So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize