"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
