I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
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Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
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A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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