if you like me you must not know who I am
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
