I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize