Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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