I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
