PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
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omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
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Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Dick very happy bro