Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You took a bar mat shot.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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