Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
