In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
