i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
