I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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