Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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