2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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