I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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