just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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