Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
