I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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