you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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