Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
