is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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