You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You need a sexual gate keeper
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
