You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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