the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
