me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
