Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.