And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
