Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
