i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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