I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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