Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize