you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.