Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
