You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
When did angry sex become our thing?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
