The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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