I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
