I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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