why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I am naked and annoyed.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
