omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize