shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
