she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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