I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
