dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize