At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
