you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
