i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think people are normalizing furries
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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