i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
