it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
