dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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