haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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