Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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