the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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