You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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