I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
babies were throwing up all over the place
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
