More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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