You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
