Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
