Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
